Post by Endicott on Jul 23, 2014 21:20:12 GMT -5
Hey, drscience. I'm not a mod here, so my comments could be construed as personal bias but I'm pretty sure most mods have some similar qualms. Power Armour was a recent invention in the United States pre-war, so didn't become universal. Germany wouldn't have any form of it, unless they built it themselves (in which case it would entirely different, but it's still implausible as they'd have to steal plans from the U.S. pre-war and built it within 10 years before the world ended). This also means he wouldn't of been able to have power armour training either. If you change it to an armour you made up yourself, it'd be fine, but it can't be t-45d power armour, since that's a canon design and it's exclusive to America.
In his skills, it mentions he's a violinist but your history has no mention of this. Who taught him? It's a rare skill in any wasteland to have musical (besides vocal) talent or ability. His weapon skills are explained in a bare form when you make reference to him being a soldier, but his skills with those weapons and the weapons themselves are barely touched on.
You mention under religion he is "Orthodox", but Orthodox what? Orthodox Jew, Orthodox Christian, etc?
The journey from Germany to America would be incredibly difficult, yet it's a small part of the history. Not only that, but there's no explanation of how they got there. Did they find a plane and restore it over a number of years like the boomers? And even so, where did they get the fuel supplies?
My final point is that they receive a radio signal from the west coast of America, but they go to D.C., which is on the east coast. Even so, there's no radio signal strong enough to broadcast all the way to European countries on either coast, I believe.
Apologies if any of this is wrong (^), but I'm pretty sure on all of that. It seems like a lot to address, and would practically mean re-doing a lot of your character, but it benefits all of us in terms of roleplay if your character is coherent, consistent and coincidences well with existing canon, laws and rules. Many first characters need a lot fixing, so you're not alone.
In his skills, it mentions he's a violinist but your history has no mention of this. Who taught him? It's a rare skill in any wasteland to have musical (besides vocal) talent or ability. His weapon skills are explained in a bare form when you make reference to him being a soldier, but his skills with those weapons and the weapons themselves are barely touched on.
You mention under religion he is "Orthodox", but Orthodox what? Orthodox Jew, Orthodox Christian, etc?
The journey from Germany to America would be incredibly difficult, yet it's a small part of the history. Not only that, but there's no explanation of how they got there. Did they find a plane and restore it over a number of years like the boomers? And even so, where did they get the fuel supplies?
My final point is that they receive a radio signal from the west coast of America, but they go to D.C., which is on the east coast. Even so, there's no radio signal strong enough to broadcast all the way to European countries on either coast, I believe.
Apologies if any of this is wrong (^), but I'm pretty sure on all of that. It seems like a lot to address, and would practically mean re-doing a lot of your character, but it benefits all of us in terms of roleplay if your character is coherent, consistent and coincidences well with existing canon, laws and rules. Many first characters need a lot fixing, so you're not alone.
