Waking up in Buttah land (the lightning RP)

I awoke to the sounds of an intruder in Vegetable Oil Manor this morning. With a swift leap I cleared the bed and landed on the table heavily, snatching my sword. With a thunderous voice I called out.

"Who dares advance on Sir Sizzle Von Margarine the XII!" I roared, probably striking fear into the hearts of men for miles. No one responded.

It had only been my cat.

I climbed off the table and walked to the mirror. Standing there naked, ( as usual ) I looked for the fearless, righteous, and dashingly handsome patriot I once knew. I could not find him. King ButterCrown has stolen him from me.



As I sat, eating my breakfast today, I thought of King ButterCrown. What he has done to this land disgusts me so much, I dumped the rest of my frosted cheerios out.


I was summoned to the King's Hall. My order were simple, collect more taxes. I tried to reason with him, to explain the plight of his people, but he waved his fat finger at me. Then, ButterCrown laughed like a madman, exclaiming that he needed more buttah. I hear the drums of war in his heart. And his annoying laughter.


I can barley stomach collecting more taxes. I collected an elderly woman's last 1/4 stick just now. After leaving, I went back and returned it, along with an entire stick as an apology... That will be the last stick I take in the name of ButterCrown.
What I do next may hang me, but I cannot stand by while my people are milked to death by a greedy tyrant.



Shift change for the guards. I slipped in, unnoticed.

Within a few minutes I stood before his cell, holding the jailer's keys.

"Banana Joe." I said sternly. Something moved in the darkness, and then his furry head emerged into the light of the torches. He crouched in his cell, smoking a cigar. Regarding me distrustfully, as I had expected, the prisoner asked what I was doing in the prison. Banana Joe walked closer to the bar, studying me with his one remaining beady eye. He had lost the other in a bar brawl with a drunken ice bear and six alley grifters. He raised his hairy hand to removed the cigar from his mouth.

"I'm going to free you, in exchange for your services. You will take me to the rebels." I commanded.

"And what's to say I don't stab you in the back for putting me in here in the first place, Sizzle?" Banana Joe snarled, making a noose with his tail.

"Then I'll leave your monkey ass to rot in here." After a short period of consideration, I gained the companionship of the most well-known con man and criminal the city had ever captured. I would need his skills in the journey to come.


Banana Joe was shady company, to be sure, but no one would be able to get me to the rebels faster than he. The guy knew every back door and hidden passage in the kingdom. Plus, Banana Joe had connection with people that normally would be weary of speaking earnestly to a knight.


Myself and Banana Joe are discussing our plans at the Vegetable Oil Manor. It may be one of the last times I ever see it.